Everyone says write what you know…judging by the final word count on this little puppy I know Jack shit. However the table contents would suggest a deep understanding on a plethora of subjects ranging from circumanavigating societal norms in regaurds to the order in which life events should occur (please see Chapter &* No we are not getting married…ask me again and I’ll cut you) to deep rooted issues of women and there struggle with Anger (please see Why we’re pissed).
Oprah ain’t gonna James Fry me so I would like to make a few disclaimers before I begin.
#1. I am HUGE exagorator. I once told an Asian dude he had a big penis so that should set up the key* for you as to how much I exaggerate. Seriously half the stuff I say isn’t true and the other half is way worse than I dare write down. So basically none of this is true. It is a version of the truth. Yes, the truth has versions.
#2. Sometimes I just flat out make stuff up. I ain’t Christin Amanpour and this ain’t CNN. If you are going to fact check any of my footnotes or references let me save you some time. Made ‘em up. Never let actual facts get in the way of research. Shit if other people didn’t follow the whole ‘Your research has to be factual and true’ we wouldn’t have things like cigaretttes, phen-phen, or lead based paint. All of which I think we can agree are freakin’ super.
#3. If you appear anywhere on the following list you are going to be offended at some point during this little collection of shmessays…
Blondes, Brunnettes, Red-headed fire crotches, coke heads, aneroxics and bulemics, Jews, Muslims. Born Againers, Midwesterns, New Yorkers, Strippers, Tara Ried (sorry sometimes I repeat myself), Unwed mothers, things with penis’s, things with pussy’s, people who like cats, people who eat pussy, pussy’s,
Introduction
Everyone says write what you know…judging by the final word count on this little puppy I know Jack shit. However the table contents would suggest a deep understanding on a plethora of subjects ranging from circumanavigating societal norms in regaurds to the order in which life events should occur (please see Chapter &* No we are not getting married…ask me again and I’ll cut you) to deep rooted issues of women and there struggle with Anger (please see Why we’re pissed).
Oprah ain’t gonna James Fry me so I would like to make a few disclaimers before I begin.
#1. I am HUGE exagorator. I once told an Asian dude he had a big penis so that should set up the key* for you as to how much I exaggerate. Seriously half the stuff I say isn’t true and the other half is way worse than I dare write down. So basically none of this is true. It is a version of the truth. Yes, the truth has versions.
#2. Sometimes I just flat out make stuff up. I ain’t Christin Amanpour and this ain’t CNN. If you are going to fact check any of my footnotes or references let me save you some time. Made ‘em up. Never let actual facts get in the way of research. Shit if other people didn’t follow the whole ‘Your research has to be factual and true’ we wouldn’t have things like cigaretttes, phen-phen, or lead based paint. All of which I think we can agree are freakin’ super.
#3. If you appear anywhere on the following list you are going to be offended at some point during this little collection of shmessays…
Blondes, Brunnettes, Red-headed fire crotches, coke heads, aneroxics and bulemics, Jews, Muslims. Born Againers, Midwesterns, New Yorkers, Strippers, Tara Ried (sorry sometimes I repeat myself), Unwed mothers, things with penis’s, things with pussy’s, people who like cats, people who eat pussy, pussy’s,
